diff --git a/scripts/deploy-remote.sh b/scripts/deploy-remote.sh
index 7b333fe..6e1fa0c 100755
--- a/scripts/deploy-remote.sh
+++ b/scripts/deploy-remote.sh
@@ -1345,8 +1345,11 @@ deploy_llm_primary() {
         echo "frank-primary: podman build --build-arg LUCE_HIP_ARCHES=gfx1201 --build-arg ROCM_VERSION=7.14.1-full -t localhost/lucebox-rocm:gfx1201 -f Dockerfile.rocm . (see runbook)" >&2
         missing=1
     fi
-    local got_size
-    got_size="$(wc -c < "$model" 2>/dev/null || echo 0)"
+    # stat -c %s, never `wc -c < FILE`. wc falls back to reading the whole
+    # stream whenever its fstat shortcut does not apply, and this payload is
+    # 377 GiB: on 2026-09-26 a deploy sat in wc for minutes (30 s of CPU,
+    # NVMe-bound) before it could even reach the cutover.
+    got_size="$(stat -c %s "$model" 2>/dev/null || echo 0)"
     if [[ "$got_size" != "$want_size" ]]; then
         echo "ERROR: model absent or incomplete at $model (have $got_size, want $want_size)" >&2
         missing=1